Bad Midnight

When I opened my front door this morning, at 10:05AM, I planned to leave for a coffee date with my boss' mum. Yes, I said mum. She's from London. My morning, however, didn't go as planned.

First, I saw a big yellow recycle bin laying at the bottom of my neighbor's stairs. In the wind last night her recyclables blew from the top of her stairs to the bottom of her stairs. Soda cans, broken beer bottles, and milk cartons were scattered all across our stoop. You see, my friend was in Kentucky visiting family, and I figured the neighborly thing to do would be pick-up the mess and sweep-up the glass. I marched my happy butt upstairs for our stupid red broom (the handle always falls off, which is why it's stupid) with plenty of time to spare before I had to leave for my 10:30AM coffee date with Dan's mum, Janet.

As I started sweeping, a woman in her pajamas near the mailboxes yelled for me. She said, "Excuse, miss! This is going to sound really weird, but my dog just locked me out of my car." All I could think was better you than me, but I never voiced that relief out loud. The poor woman had stepped out to get her mail and her adorable black lab/shepherd? mix, Midnight, stepped on the lock. The woman didn't have a spare key and neither did anyone she knew. I asked. She didn't have OnStar. I asked that, too, and her phone was in her locked car.

"Would you like to borrow my phone?" I said, and the woman politely, and desperately said, yes. As I looked up various locksmiths on my phone, the woman tried her damndest to entice Midnight to put her paw on the lock just like she had before. No such luck, so we called a couple of locksmiths. No answer. We called the Chrysler dealership in town, they gave us an 800-number, and we were about to call the police when I got an idea.

"How about I go get some treats." I ran back upstairs with the stupid red broom and Emily's cleaned-up recyclables to grab some Milkbones. Rex was looking at me like, "What the heck is going on, Mom?" I stormed out the door and down the steps, and walked over to the woman's driver's side window where Midnight looked up at us, perplexed. I drew the pup-dog and her too-big-for-her-body paws up toward the top of the window with a treat, then slid the treat down towards where the window/lock was. We did it again and again and again until...

Midnight stepped on the driver's window button! The window was open about an inch now, and I forced the window down yet another inch with my brute strength. Suddenly, the woman I'm helping disappeared and came back with a stick. She slid the stick down into the window in hopes of putting down the window even further, but that didn't happen. The stick was too fragile and almost broke inside her car. I run back into the woods to find another, studier stick, and this time it worked. The woman's passenger window slid right down, and, after several "Thank yous" I proceeded to leave for my coffee date. It was 10:35AM.

But Bad Midnight wasn't done causing trouble just yet.  From what I could tell (I wasn't there), she hopped out of the window and ran towards the main road adjacent to the parking lot.  Frantically, I heard the woman call for her dog, so I ran back down the stairs to see if I could help. In my best, oh-my-god-I'm-so-excited voice I yelled, "Midnight!! Come see me," while holding my arms wide open. Midnight trotted over to me, I picked her up in my arms, she wiggled out, and I sat on her until her human mom came to my rescue.

Meanwhile, my pants were halfway down my butt because I thought it would be a good idea to not wear a belt this morning. Sometimes adventure is just outside your front door, literally.

At 10:49AM, I finally left for my coffee date. Thanks, Janet, for being so understanding!