Prom 2.0

Prom, short for promenade, is a black-tie dance typically experienced by normal teenagers in their third and fourth years of high school.

But we march to the beat of our own drum, Brad Roberts and I.

We may or may not ever get married (damn hippies), our kids will probably have nature-inspired names like Lily and Jasper (big shocker!), and we never experienced the high school rite of passage most people (err all people) call prom. 

It's a well-known fact that Brad nor I will ever be "normal", and nor have we ever been. Ask our our parents or anybody who knows us really. You see, I can stick my tongue up my nose and my non-husband has a bad habit of sniffing his fingers. Plus, we met online thanks in part to some Army-related video game. (Hides in corner.)

But thanks to Stephanie and Justin Walthall, Brad and I finally experienced a black-tie affair, which I shall call Prom 2.0 a.k.a. Steph and Justin's wedding. And their wedding a.k.a. Prom 2.0 was even better than what my redneck Shenandoah Valley prom could have ever been. Ever.

So picture this: my two-left footed non-husband dancing to the Cupid Shuffle and the Cha-Cha Slide, continued nonsense post-event, and me carrying Brad's sorry ass back to the hotel after he managed to puke on my rainbow flip flops...and my freshly-pedicured foot.

It was Prom 2.0, and it was epic. And unlike hypothetical prom, we didn't have to hide the fact that we were drinking. Nor could we have gotten suspended for being caught.

So, I shall end with this: thanks again to the Robertses and the Walthalls for the party of the century, the opportunity to get couples pictures, and a limitless supply of blackmail.

Ali Roberts, you know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? I know you do.