A Fish Out of Water

I found this gem on some website, which--surprise--has a Confederate flag and some Wrangler logo as it's background.  Talk about brand development.

Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your husband.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation
suppers, and vacations.
3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your
grandma would let you in the house.
4. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
5. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields
on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
6. You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
7. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.
8. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
9. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
10. You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.  

Needless to say, I have no idea what any of that means except item #9, which is one of my biggest fears.  And that's legit.  

There's a point to all this.  As a suburban girl, I must admit to you all (not y'all) that I harbor a redneck fetish.  Nope, it's not Brad playing dress up in hunter's camo g-strings and fluorescent orange bras.  Pink's his favorite color.  He loves anything bedazzled, too.  I don't love fishing or hunting either.  It messes with my hippy karma.  My redneck love is demolition derbies.

Despite the fun I have at derbies, though, I still feel like a fish out of water.  I even wear things like flannel and still can't manage to fit in.  Maybe that's a good thing?  I don't know.  I guess it all depends on who you ask.  I'll see what invisible Obama in an empty chair thinks about it later.